Parenting in the Age of Pornography 

Children as young as nine are now being exposed to online pornography, according to a new report released in January this year by the Children’s Commissioner for England. Dame Rachel de Souza speaks of being “deeply concerned about the normalisation of sexual violence in online pornography, and the role that this plays in shaping children’s understanding of sex and relationships”.

With 91% of 11-year-olds owning a smartphone as of 2022, pornography is more accessible to young children than ever before. The social media site Twitter is found to be the primary source of pornography for young people – ranking above dedicated pornography websites – which is especially disturbing given that thirteen is the minimum age for sign-up on the platform.

The report shows that, on average, children first see pornography at the age of just thirteen. At age nine, 10% of children have been exposed, 27% at age eleven and 50% by age thirteen. Even more worryingly, 79% of the young people surveyed reported having seen violent pornography before the age of eighteen. 

Dame Rachel talks of how she “will never forget the girl who told me about her first kiss with her boyfriend, aged twelve, who strangled her. He had seen it in pornography and thought it was normal”. Pornography is an industry that thrives on setting unrealistic standards, and many experts warn that it should not be a source of sex education for children and young adults. 

Young boys in particular are shown to be affected by this rise in access to pornography, as 21% of the surveyed males aged 16-21 admitted to viewing pornographic content at least once a day in the two weeks leading up to the study. This was in comparison to just 7% of girls. Not to mention that, due to the personal and embarrassing nature of this study, the Children’s Commissioner warns that the statistics gathered are very likely to be an underestimate of the truth. 

Consuming pornography with an unhealthy frequency is considered by some medical professionals to be best considered as an addiction, given its very real potential for harm. For instance, the report finds that increased pornography consumption correlates with an increase in harmful and violent attitudes towards women and girls: committing acts of sexual coercion and aggression; engaging in casual and risky sex; as well as having lower self-esteem and body image. 

Dame Rachel particularly wanted to emphasise the fact that “the adult content which parents may have accessed in their youth could be considered ‘quaint’ in comparison to today’s world of online pornography”, as it is found that parents are often unaware of the ease with which this content can be accessed online. One study by the BBFC found that 75% of parents believed their child had not encountered pornography. Of those children, over half of them had. 

The report had some advice to offer parents who may be concerned about their children, including: 

• Having age-appropriate conversations about pornography, preferably before the child receives their first phone

• Keeping up-to-date with new technology and trends 

• Knowing where to go for external support if you are concerned about your child

• Ensuring that your child knows they can ask for advice and support without judgement should they come across something upsetting online 

The National Crime Agency (NCA) also produces a lot of resources designed to help parents approach these conversations with their child, through their #AskTheAwkward initiative.